facebook twitter instagram linkedin google youtube vimeo tumblr yelp rss email podcast phone blog search brokercheck brokercheck Play Pause
Marriage and Finances: Building a Stronger Partnership Thumbnail

Marriage and Finances: Building a Stronger Partnership

Personal Finance

by Leah Woodly, CFP®

February, often hailed as the month of love, reminds us of the joys and challenges of marriage. While Valentine’s Day emphasizes romance, it’s essential to recognize that a healthy marriage is built on more than flowers and chocolates. One critical, yet often overlooked, aspect of a strong partnership is financial harmony. Statistics consistently show that finances are the number one reason for divorce, underscoring the need for couples to address money matters early and often.

 You do not have to be a statistic. Here are strategies for navigating finances as a couple:

 The Foundations of Financial Harmony

1. Start with Open Communication
Money can be a sensitive subject, but open communication is the cornerstone of financial harmony. Consider the following:

  • Schedule regular money talks: Set aside time to discuss financial goals, expenses, and concerns.
  • Share your financial history: Much of how we handle money is based on behaviors we witnessed in our childhood and experiences we’ve had along the way. Understanding each other’s past experiences with money can help build empathy and awareness.
  • Discuss values and priorities: Identify what’s most important to each of you, such as saving for a home, traveling, or supporting family members.
2. Create a Joint Vision
Working together to create a joint vision helps align goals and sets clear expectations. Key steps include:
  • Budgeting together: Establish a household budget that accounts for both of your income, expenses, and savings goals.
  • Defining responsibilities: Decide who will manage day-to-day finances, pay bills, and track spending. Though responsibilities may be defined, it is important that each of you stay in the loop with how things are managed and what is going on with your finances.
  • Setting joint goals: Whether it’s buying a house, starting a family, or planning for retirement, define and prioritize shared objectives.

3. Combine Finances Strategically
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to combining finances. You can consider:

  • Fully joint accounts: Pooling all income and expenses for complete transparency.
  • Partially combined accounts: Maintaining individual accounts for personal spending while contributing to a joint account for shared expenses.
  • Separate accounts: Keeping finances entirely separate but agreeing on how to split shared costs.

 Discussing and choosing a method that works for your relationship is critical to avoiding misunderstandings and resentment.

4. Build an Emergency Fund
Life is unpredictable, and having a financial safety net can reduce stress and strengthen your bond. Aim to save three to six months’ worth of living expenses in an easily accessible account. You may decide that you need more saved. Target whatever amount will allow you both to sleep at night.

5. Seek Professional Guidance
Consider working with a Certified Financial Planner® (CFP®) to:

  • Create a comprehensive financial plan.
  • Address complex financial situations, such as planning for retirement or for children’s education.
  • Ensure both partners are equally involved in financial decisions.

Navigating Common Financial Challenges
Dealing with Debt
Debt can strain a relationship if not managed proactively. You should:

  • Be transparent about existing debts.
  • Develop a repayment plan together.
  • Avoid blaming each other and focus on solutions.

Download this free resource which may be helpful as you navigate paying off debt.

Handling Income Disparities
When one partner earns significantly more than the other, it can create feelings of imbalance. To address this:

  • Focus on contributions beyond income, such as household responsibilities or caregiving.
  • Avoid “scorekeeping” and emphasize teamwork.
  • Adjust budgeting strategies to reflect your combined resources.

Planning for Parenthood
Children bring joy and financial responsibilities. Couples should discuss:

  • The costs of childcare, education, and extracurricular activities.
  • Long-term goals, such as funding a 529 plan for college.
  • Balancing career aspirations with family needs.

Avoiding a Gray Divorce
As couples age, the pressures of life, financial disagreements, and shifting priorities can strain even long-term marriages. However, proactive efforts can help you strengthen your bond and avoid a gray divorce. 

Here’s some tips:

1. Maintain Open Communication
Life changes as we grow older, and so do financial needs and priorities. Regularly revisiting your goals and expectations is key to staying on the same page. Discuss topics such as:

  • Retirement dreams and plans.
  • How to manage healthcare expenses.
  • Supporting adult children or aging parents.

2. Keep Financial Goals Aligned
Diverging financial goals can create tension over time. Avoid this by:

  • Reviewing and updating financial plans together.
  • Setting mutual goals, such as downsizing, traveling, or pursuing hobbies.
  • Balancing individual aspirations with shared responsibilities.

3. Prioritize Quality Time
As children leave the nest and careers wind down, it’s essential to rediscover your relationship outside of parenting and work. Strengthen your bond by:

  • Scheduling regular date nights.
  • Exploring new hobbies or interests together.
  • Traveling or creating shared experiences that bring joy.

4. Address Financial Conflicts Early
Unresolved financial conflicts can fester over time. Address disagreements by:

  • Seeking a neutral perspective, such as a financial counselor or mediator.
  • Practicing empathy and focusing on solutions.
  • Committing to regular check-ins to prevent small issues from becoming larger problems.

5. Plan for Retirement Together
Retirement can be a significant life transition, and differing expectations can lead to conflict. 

  • Discuss what retirement looks like for each of you—working part-time, volunteering, or enjoying leisure activities.
  • Ensure you both are financially prepared for this phase of life.
  • Agree on a shared vision for spending and saving during retirement.

6. Keep the Romance Alive
While finances are a practical matter, emotional connection is just as crucial. Keep the romance alive by:

  • Celebrating milestones and achievements.
  • Showing appreciation for each other’s contributions.
  • Making time for each other, even amid busy schedules.

While money is a common source of tension, it can also be a tool for connection and growth. By prioritizing transparency, teamwork, and long-term planning, you can build a financial partnership that strengthens your marriage. 

This February, as we celebrate love, take the opportunity to nurture your financial partnership. Whether you’re newlyweds, seasoned partners, or working to avoid the challenges of a gray divorce, remember that financial harmony is achievable. By working together, you can create a stronger, more resilient marriage that stands the test of time—and money.